I am sure you may have noticed that it has been quite some time (over two months) since I last wrote a post here. I have no good excuse to offer. For what it’s worth, here is the excuse anyway: Life got really busy. It was nothing extraordinary; it was just that the usual litany of things that always make autumn a hectic time hit with a vengeance in September: the start of school, start of sport season (baseball and football for Huck, and now that baseball is finished, basketball), September book fair, October book fair. Added to the usual busy autumn routine this year were several fun events — my first ABAA Northern California Chapter meeting, my first article in the IOBA Standard, my 25 year high school reunion, Thoughtful Husband’s 25 year high school reunion, our oldest nephew’s wedding in Los Angeles, and the need to look at and evaluate various options for Tom for — gulp! — high school next year. I bought and sold a few books in between activities, but being so busy gave me a sort of writer’s block. I’d read other posts on other great bookish blogs (many of them linked to in the right sidebar here) and think, “so-and-so already covered that . . . and more articulately than I could. I won’t bother writing about it. When I started writing my blog, few other booksellers were blogging. Four years later, there are many others, much more expert than I who are writing about things far better than I ever will.” Aren’t you glad that, until now, I decided to spare you my pity party? I really deplore self-pity, even in my own self. It’s paralytic. I will just point out that my spending time in this kind of thinking got me no further ahead. I just stopped writing. And then I got disappointed with myself. If I had spent time thinking this way when I started my business, I would never have stayed in business for nearly five years.
In short, it wasn’t so much the amount of other priorities competing for my time that took away from blogging though that was part of it. It was that I felt I didn’t have the time to write anything worth reading here. (Another reminder to my self: don’t waste time making decisions based on feeling. Think. Logically. Then take action.) Then, recently, I remembered something. I remembered that I started this blog not in order to write something others would read and appreciate (though that’s always nice and a few people have been so kind as to tell me they do read), but as a way of keeping a record for myself — a record of how a stay-at-home-mom started an antiquarian book business and a bit of a record of Tom and Huck growing up. I realized that in deciding not to blog I wasn’t keeping a record — even if it was a record of a being a bookseller who is sometimes (most of the time) too busy to “do it all” the way most booksellers seem to be able to. (Lord, how I hate that phrase. I think it sets an unattainable standard. I can’t do it all. I do well when I pick and choose my priorities and stick to them.) I wasn’t keeping a record of the growing pains of a one-person business and of my children going from being children to being teenagers. I knew I’d be sorry I hadn’t kept a record of this time later.
Please let me apologize for abruptly putting a halt to my blogging activities in mid-September. To those of you who have been regular readers, I am sorry. It was rude to just quit with no explanation. I hope you’ll stick with me as I resume, rusty writing skills be damned.
I am happy (if somewhat embarrassed) to say I have decided, at long last, to snap out of my writer’s funk and just start writing again. Whether what I write is worthwhile or not is not for me to judge. Soon, look for a belated post on October’s Seattle Antiquarian Book Fair (first time I’ve done that show), a post on what it’s like to be the new kid in the ABAA, and a post on two people whose adventures I have neglected to record on the blog for a long while — Tom and Huck. Somehow, in the almost-five years since I started my business and the four years since I started this blog, my kids have started to grow up and my business has started to grow. Thanks to those who have read this blog along the way.